You note that these smaller tablets fit much deeper into the bowl. You grab your dying toy and realize that other people may have heard "thunk" as well as a brief burst of profanity, followed by the clearly visible formation of a puddle in the stall. You realize that you have no clue how to actually quickly turn this thing off-off. As in 'no power to anything'. Vol-up + power for 15 seconds? (drip drip drip) You register a moment of relief that the person before you flushed. You find out that the type cover can hold a decent amount of water (hey, anyone want to buy a lightly used type cover?) You sit down and finish what you stepped in for, while muttering 'Nice going Einstein'. To your horror tapping the "Win" button still gives haptic feedback (drip ... drip ...) You wonder when the last time was that you hooked up that dripping excuse for a tablet to a backup drive. After washing your hands you pat yourself on the back for getting Microsoft Complete. Against all advice you try to turn the thing on, and manage to quickly pull off that important document you'd been working on for the past few days. A few seconds later the SP2 flickers to its death. You grab your backup drive, and learn that file history doesn't actually let you restore the original file structure to a second machine. All you get is twenty versions of the same file with a giant time stamp included in each filename. Perfect! You panic when you can't find your outlook pst files anywhere on the backup drive, and feel the blood drain from your face as you read that file history doesn't back up outlook pst files when they're not in a 'library' (remember, that thing that MS made less visible recently). Oh well, how important could the past two months of emails have been. You wonder if this whole "one device" thing was ever a good plan, especially for devices that don't let you easily take out the SSD. You consult your friends on the internet, and find that you may dry the SP2 by dumping it in a bag of rice for a while. You learn that covering an SP2 takes a whole lot of rice. You marvel at the fact that 'large grain rice' is small enough to get into the uSD slot. You mutter "everything is going to be fine" while you poke feebly at the rice grain. You manage to turn the SP2 on briefly, and try to quickly hook up a backup drive. After five tries of connecting the USB you're thinking 'wait, normally this only takes three tries!' You utter a sad laugh as you spot a stray rice grain in the USB port. The display flickers and dies again. You wonder what type of tool is recommended for getting rice out of USB ports while avoiding a short. You find Google is not much help. You ask the internet again, and decide to bake that SP2, because keeping the oven at 170F or less should be juuust fine. I mean CPUs can go up to 90C, so how bad could 77C be? You quietly think about those poor souls that try to do this with a microwave. You forgetfully leave the oven on with the oven door cracked and the SP2 on a ceramic plate, and find that the heating coils are very good at radiating heat into the nicely dark SP2. Five minutes later you marvel at the device temperature and consider using oven mitts to rescue the SP2 from hell. At this point the SP2 has been drowned, stuffed in a closed bag with rice, and baked. You wonder if running it over with your car will maybe allow you to turn it on again. You find that after trying to kill this thing in every way possible, a simple two days of having the SP2 under a running fan allows you to turn it on briefly again. You experience euphoria when you're able to copy a 10GB outlook pst file that wasn't backed up. You quickly try to start a drive image backup, and frown when Windows helpfully tells you creating a drive image "may" overwrite that prior drive image that you made a while back. You find out MS is unclear about the details behind that "may". You die a little inside as the SP2 gives up the ghost halfway the image backup process. You note wryly that you "may" have destroyed your prior drive image while making an incomplete new one. You call surface support, and notice that the support guy speaks English (good) but doesn't know whether water damage is covered (bad). You enjoy some waiting music while confirming that thank god yes it is. You do this ten times faster than the support guy. You find out that even MS cannot conveniently check SP2 store availability, and that they need to use a device called the 'telephone' to 'phone' people in a store nearby. Please hold. You learn that Microsoft helpfully named the support website myservice.surface.com. "No, myservice.surface.com" What? You're told that you're not allowed to open the device to get to the SSD and save your precious data, because then no MS complete for you! You learn that there's something called 'advanced replacement' where they send you a new SP2 before you return the wet one. OK, that's kind of nice. You learn that they will charge you $1000 if you don't return your $1800 surface to them after the replacement arrives. Your evil side briefly ponders this loophole. On day five you are finally able to complete an image backup by displaying only to external monitor, plugging the USB drive into the monitor's USB, and not having the charger connected. You realize that this may turn out OK after all.