My Corona - A Little Viral Humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic Chat' started by dstrauss, Mar 21, 2020.

  1. dstrauss

    dstrauss Comic Relief Senior Member

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    Inspired by a member's recounting of a funny moment for his family, I present "My Corona" of course set to the tune of My Sharona - post your corona humor here - I know this is a deadly serious topic, but we all deserve some relief and release from the 24/7 news cycle panic:

    My Corona

    Ooh, my little ugly one, my ugly one
    When you gonna give me relief, Corona
    Ooh, you make my motor stall, my motor stall
    Got it stuck o' the line, Corona
    Never gonna go, give it up, such a panicked mind
    I'm always getting from the touch of the viral kind
    My, my, my, aye-aye, whoa!
    M-m-m-my Corona
    When you gonna give to me, a break, a break from lines
    Is it just a matter of time, Corona?
    Is it d-d-destiny, d-destiny
    Or is it just a scam…
    My my my Corona...

    (sincerest apologies to The Knack)
     
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  2. dstrauss

    dstrauss Comic Relief Senior Member

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    From an employee at Albertson's (that's is really where I got it):

    Want to know the real reason we are out of toilet paper - every time someone sneezes 10 people s*** themselves...
     
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  3. dstrauss

    dstrauss Comic Relief Senior Member

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    NSFW - but who the hell is at work anyway:



    Norm is right - WE ARE stuck in the middle of a Stephen King novel.
     
  4. sonichedgehog360

    sonichedgehog360 AKA Hifihedgehog Senior Member

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    Here's a little something that made me laugh. I realize the root word means crown, but it's funny nonetheless. So I guess we blame Disney and not China? lol

    [​IMG]
     
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  5. dstrauss

    dstrauss Comic Relief Senior Member

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    STOLEN FROM FORBES...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
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  6. dstrauss

    dstrauss Comic Relief Senior Member

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    These puns are among the best of the worst (from https://www.fatherly.com/play/best-coronavirus-jokes/)

    1. What’s the difference between COVID-19 and Romeo and Juliet? One’s the coronavirus and the other is a Verona crisis.
    2. You know who buys up all the toilet paper? Assholes.
    3. Why do they call it the novel coronavirus? It’s a long story….
    4. Why didn’t the sick guy get the joke? It flu over his head.
    5. Why don’t chefs find coronavirus jokes funny? They’re in bad taste.
    6. I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
    7. Nail salons, hair salons, waxing center and tanning places are closed. It’s about to get ugly out there.
    8. Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means. No one will be crossing the finish line.
    9. What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever? Self, I so late.
    10. Did you hear the joke about the germ? Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.
    11. Where do sick boats go to get healthy? The dock!
    12. What did the sick parent make their kids for lunch? Mac and sneeze.
    13. I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers. Times are rough.
    14. You know what they’re saying about 2020. It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.
    15. What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany? The wurst kase scenario.
    16. Back in my day you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.
    17. If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033? There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.
    18. You know what they say: feed a cold, starve a fever, drink a corona.
    19. What should you do if you don’t understand a coronavirus joke? Be patient.
    20. The grocery stores in France look like tornadoes hit them. All that’s left is de brie.
    21. Still no toilet paper in the stores. They’re wiped out and you’re **** out of luck.
    22. So many coronavirus jokes out there, it’s a pundemic.
     
    Last edited: Mar 21, 2020
  7. dstrauss

    dstrauss Comic Relief Senior Member

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    From a good friend in Oklahoma:

    upload_2020-3-24_13-27-15.png upload_2020-3-24_13-27-53.png upload_2020-3-24_13-28-23.png upload_2020-3-24_13-28-46.png upload_2020-3-24_13-29-48.png

    Annotation 2020-03-24 133234.png
     
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  8. JoeS

    JoeS I'm all ears Senior Member

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    Sheesh, I just now got it. "Viral" humor. I may not have Coronavirus, but I do seem to have some brain issues.. :confused:
     
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  9. dstrauss

    dstrauss Comic Relief Senior Member

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    With apologies to The Police...

    Young virus the subject
    Of panic and people's fears
    It wants them so badly
    They storm the grocery store
    Inside there's no room
    To walk the empty isles
    I grab the last milk quickly
    But missed the jam and bread

    Don't stand, don't stand
    Don't stand so close to me now
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2020
  10. darkmagistric

    darkmagistric Scribbler - Standard Member Senior Member

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    We just finished up our 2nd group project in my coding bootcamp........its a High Fashion E-store with a Corona twist. The content and graphics were of course photoshopped by me.

    https://the-contagion-boutique.herokuapp.com/
     
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