Well guys, I'm floored right now. I went into the Microsoft store today to speak with the manager. I had emailed her about my experience with my Surfaces, and I reiterated what I had said in the email. She asked me what I expected out of this situation.. I said something along the lines of, "I'm not sure, but I hope to get something out of this considering the hardware faults." She immediately proceeded to offer me a Surface Pro 3. I wasn't sure whether she was trying to sell me one or give me one, but I had explained that the SP3 had major overheating issues and that it would be undesirable. She then offered me an SP4 of equivalent specs.. for free!! I asked her if I could upgrade from the 128 GB/4 GB model to the 256 GB/8 GB model. She was happy to do that and the upgrade cost $150. I also purchased their $300 bundle for the keyboard, extended 3 year manufacturer[correction: only 2 years]/2 year accidental warranty(so no more funny business now), bag, and Office 365 1 year(which I'll probably sell). My total was $470 with tax. They took the SP2 and I kept the old keyboard. Absolutely killer deal. I couldn't have expected a better outcome.